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In association with www.BT3EFT.com and www.BESTherapies3.com Say "Get-Knotted!" - to trouble and strife in your life
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Pauline's "Neediness for Love" - eased in 90 minutes Pre-Therapy Session Chat Pauline's primary goal was to ease her anxiety around relationships – men in particular. She is a 35 year old single woman Manager. She expressed a need to have children of her own and it is this that seems to be the core issue here as she is desperate to find a relationship with a man she can marry and have children with. She felt that her issues began in her 20s, with her two male relatives contributing towards her insecurities through their mental abuse and their own alcohol issues. She established that her experience with anorexia is probably rooted in this. As a result, she gets angry with herself and very emotional which she has been led to believe is a weakness she struggles to squash Therapy Session 1 So that we had an achievable set of goals for her sessions, I asked Pauline to give an ideal scenario if she had a ‘miracle switch’ what her life would be like. She said she would like to: 1. be able to find and use her own strengths 2. be released from this need for approval – which she recognises as encouraging an eating disorder During our first session, Pauline initially didn’t quite know which issue to focus on as she said she had many. After a few questions, we defined a pathway and set about relaxing. How we achieved the goalsBy linking Pauline's image of herself and her perceived weaknesses as strengths, I attempted to secure a better image – through the photograph of a woman in the media that she admired, and a photograph of a beautiful animal that needed her perceived ‘weakness’ in order to survive. I also used a story that reflected her situation with regards to the burdens which she could give to someone else. We made several attempts at getting to the relaxing stage, but this appeared to be something Pauline was reluctant to enter into. When we did finally manage to relax enough, suggested goals and positive words were offered through the actions she could take to give her direction and release the need for approval. While thinking about the sensations Pauline could feel while living her life – I reframed her situation and offered her a sense of letting go, of loving herself and simply being herself and being able to approve of herself - without the need for approval from others. Note: Pauline appeared quite tense to me with her closed-off body language offering me signals that she didn’t want to let me get too close to her. This gave me a hint of her reluctance to experience any kind of therapy, but I felt I was able to gain her trust in order to perform this for her by asking her to make the choice between closing or opening her eyes. As soon as she was able to relax, Pauline reverted back to her closed body language through the crossed legs, but I could see that her arms positions matched mine and she smiled a lot - this gave me the signal that she wanted to open up even though she was guarding herself. During the session, Pauline was very tense and her body language was very closed off towards me. Though, when we laughed about men in general she was able to relax. At the end of the session, Pauline had tears falling down her face. She admitted she was shocked about this as she hadn't expected that before. Pauline said "I’ve had counselling for my anorexia and my long-term relationship, I was just really low and didn’t want to go back on the tablets, when I was anorexic they put me on Prozac and I didn’t want to go down that road again. I recognised the signs when I need to talk and get it off my chest." Then she yawned which, therapeutically, is a good sign as this means the client is relaxing and is accepting. Session Length: 94 minutes All names have been changed to protect the identity of the subjects. This was a 1-2-1 Human Givens Therapy session
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